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Are you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted? In this blog post, we will explore the causes and effects of burnout. Learn practical strategies to overcome burnout and cultivate a life filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment. Join us on the path to wholehearted living.

What is burnout?

Contrary to what many people think, burnout is not just something you can ‘get over’ with a good nights sleep, it is a shut down of your entire system and it requires an holistic systemic approach to recover from. It is where your system has been dealing with chronic stress for a long period of time resulting in mental, emotional and physical exhaustion.

What causes burnout?

Because burnout is often a result of unchecked chronic stress, it can be hard to distinguish when stress has turned into burnout. So here’s some of the things that cause chronic stress, and if unchecked will become burnout:

• Workload– burnout is still primarily associated with work and if you feel chronically overloaded at work, beyond a pressure that means you can complete tasks effectively, the stress will continue to build

• Lack of control and resources– feeling like you have a lack of autonomy over decisions that affect you, as well as not having access to the resources you need, can take a huge toll on your well-being and cause lots of internal stress

• Purpose– feeling like there is a lack of purpose or reward for your work can end up in a lack of motivation and lead to feelings of resentment

• Support– do you have a community or support network to draw upon? Feeling isolated, alone or misunderstood can impact the effects of stress and lead to burnout

• Values– if your values clash with your workplace, it can cause prolonged stress and potential for clashes with priorities, this can be especially problematic if it’s combined with any unfairness/injustice

• Personality traits– some traits such as perfectionism, pessimism and a need for control may mean that you are more susceptible to burnout

• Self care– not taking time for yourself, not sleeping well, not taking care of your needs physically, mentally and emotionally are contributors to burnout

What are the different types of burnout?

Overload burnout– this is where you keep working harder and harder in pursuit of your final goal. You can’t stop and don’t see the risks to your own health to keep going.

Under-challenged burnout– this is where you don’t find your job stimulating or challenging enough and become bored, disengaged and cynical.

Neglect burnout– this is where you feel helpless and like you can’t do anything right. You might feel incompetent and experience ‘imposter syndrome’

Habitual burnout– this is where your mental, physical and emotional fatigue is chronic. It’s the most serious stage where you can become depressed and detached.

I’m aware that this all sounds pretty serious, and there’s good reason for that.

I wish at the time of my burnout, I recognised it and how serious it was. It would have saved me so much anguish. It’s also been the part of my journey that has taken the most healing, forgiveness and compassion.

My Personal Burnout experience…

I have read about many different burnout experiences and whilst they all differ in their circumstances and affects, they tend to follow similar patterns:

Increased demands at work = increase in personal stress/pressure = inability to switch off = exhaustion/fatigue = time off work to recover.

I’ve read very little about the indepth experience of burnout or what originally caused a person to get to that point in the first place, or what happens when it’s a repeated cycle rather than a one off experience.

Encountering my own resistance in sharing my journey, beyond the initial overwhelm of ‘where do I begin?’, there is a deep sense of shame. And shame is so destructive because it keeps things hidden in the shadows. We don’t want to expose those parts of us that come loaded with shame and so it continues to live on, feeding on the secrecy that it loves to exist in.

Throughout my time as a business owner I had multiple encounters with burnout. The last one was the straw that broke the camels back once and for all and is the one that led me on one of the greatest healing journeys I have ever experienced…

By December 2022, I had been running my own wellbeing salon for over 12 years. Starting it from scratch in an area that I had just moved to, it was the dream of ‘living life on my terms’ that I had been longing for. I loved the challenge of running my own business, as well as the creative thinking that was required. What started as me and a treatment room grew to a team of eight employees serving thousands of clients a year.

As I take a very honest look back now, there were so many warning signs that this would lead to eventual burnout for me that I just didn’t see. I am going to share as much as I can here in the hope that they help you to spot the signs in your life and help you to take the steps you need in order to prevent total burnout.

1. Living life out of alignment with your ‘juice’

I speak about this more here, but I truly believe that we can only press on for so long in a situation that is not aligned with who we truly are. My original plan for my wellbeing business was to become a wellbeing centre that would be a place where someone could come and access various therapies to help them work on a particular issue/concern holistically. ‘Wellbeing’ is something of a buzz word nowadays, but back in 2010, this was a relatively new concept. It quickly, however, developed into being more beauty treatment focused and that became the backbone of the business. I was an excellent therapist and built a core team of amazing therapists which kept us as a five star rated salon consistently.

Here’s the thing though, despite excelling at that career, it was never something I truly wanted. I tried many times over the years to step back and develop the more therapy side of things. But every single time I tried, I got pulled back. Either a member of staff left or got sick, clients refused to see anyone but me, or I encountered narcissists that caused huge trauma. EVERY SINGLE TIME. It got to the stage where I thought there was some weird curse that was keeping me and the businees energetically tied somehow.

I was caught in a trap between knowing I wanted something different and the business being the thing that was providing myself, my family and my team with stability and an income, as well as being a sanctuary for so many clients.

The Covid-19 pandemic feels something of an alternative lifetime now doesn’t it? But it hit our industry particularly hard. Being close contact, we had to close at every lockdown, and whilst the employees received furlough pay, for us as directors, there was very little support. Witnessing so many people descend into fear and panic, I drew upon all of my therapy training and continued to help clients where possible with free anxiety support sessions, online resources and relaxation sessions. Thanks to our amazing client relationships, we bounced back well, but there’s no denying that a huge shift had happened. That whole period demanding even more from me was eating into a fuel tank that was already pretty depleted. I was witnessing the same thing amongst so many business owners and I sensed that many businesses would close within the next 12 months. Not necessarily just because they were no longer financially viable, just because the owners ran out of ‘juice’.

During 2022, I knew I had to work on my exit plan. As per usual, it coincided with changes in the team and whilst we tried to recruit and find people who could push the business forward, it just didn’t work. This time I broke. And I knew me breaking meant the business had to close. This realisation was unbearably hard because even though the business wasn’t exactly in alignment with my passion, it was my baby that I had literally given everything to for over 12 years of my life.

Here’s the tough part and why we begin the WholeHearted Journey with radical honesty, choosing what you need that is truly in alignment with your dreams, desires and passions might mean some difficult choices and decisions need to be made, especially if you have veered away from yourself for a long period of time.

The Road to Recovery…

Self-love is more than just the superficial things we’re taught. It is a deeply transformative practice when this one secret is used.

Check out all the details here:

https://www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/learning-to-love-yourself-unveiling-the-secret-to-self-love

I’d love to hear your thoughts by leaving a comment on the article 🙂

And if you’d like to join me live for an online workshop delving into this and providing you with lots of practical tools to use, get the earlybird offer today:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/learning-to-love-yourself-unveiling-the-secret-to-self-love-tickets-957215777157?aff=oddtdtcreator

Welcome to this online event where we will dive deep into the art of self-love and discovering the secret to embracing yourself fully.

Join us for a transformative journey filled with insightful discussions, practical tips, and empowering activities. Let’s explore ways to boost your self-esteem, practice self-care, and cultivate a positive mindset. Get ready to unlock the key to loving yourself unconditionally.

Free lifetime access to the recording for all participants (even if you can’t make it live).

As someone who has spent most of their life wanting to both belong and also live outside the box, putting my life’s work into a therapeutic tool was something I resisted for a long time.

It seemed counter productive to reduce everything (and everyone) to a step-by-step process.

But then I realised that this technique is a series of guideposts on the WholeHearted Journey. And having guideposts to help navigate unchartered territory is actually extremely helpful. It provides a framework for transformation and a safe container so that you can feel as equipped as possible on your path.

It’s important to reiterate that these are guideposts. Each step of the process will be unique to you. A huge part of my skill as a guide on this journey is being able to connect you with your inner guidance and help you to build a toolkit that is unique to you. It’s why I create bespoke resources to ensure that each tool is ‘hand crafted’ for you.

This technique is interwoven throughout all of our programs and each program is designed for different stages of your journey…

This one month program is a deep dive and it does what it says on the tin, it provides a breakthrough from the patterns keeping you stuck.

It’s perfect for you if you are proactive and know that once you have a realisation, you can run with it and you don’t need long term support.

This is where you experience both an intensive deep dive and a year of guidance and support.

This is immersive and life changing.

It’s perfect for you if you are tired of doing this alone and desire to get the full support you need to create the aligned life you desire.

This is our heart centred community where you receive so much to help you with your WholeHearted journey.

It’s perfect for you if you want access to resources, live trainings, weekly group sessions (+ lots more!) and connection with other similar souls.

In this blog post, we will explore the journey of recovering from trauma, burnout, and PTSD. Discover how a ‘dark night of the soul’ can help you find healing, freedom, and fulfilment.

Join us on the path to WholeHearted Living and create a life you love.

Have you ever found yourself waking up in the morning knowing you ‘should’ be happy and excited to start your day, but you can’t shake the repeated feeling of emptiness? Almost like you are existing through your life?

You’re doing all of the things. You have a loving family and relationship. You’re successful at what you do. Your current life is so much of what you dreamed of for years.

You are also a pro-active person. You read some books on self development, you start meditating and doing more activities that you know you enjoy.

And yet, there is something deeper, something that isn’t allowing any of those changes to make the shift inside you really need.

I get it. I’ve been where you are. And I also know the journey is not ‘out there’ but ‘in here’. But you already know that, right?

So let’s pick up at one of my darkest moments and share the exact steps that got me to the freedom and fulfilment I enjoy today…

It was late one Friday night. I had just finished yet another week of 14 hour days in my business. It was a price I thought I had to pay, after all, I was used to hard work and I believed that all of this sacrifice would eventually get me the freedom I longed for.

What had started as a ‘meltdown’ (aka me basically being mentally, emotionally and physically drained and unable to function properly) every 3-4 months or so, had become an almost weekly occurrence. I knew something had to change, I just believed that if I could keep pushing, the tide would eventually turn and it would all let up a bit.

But on this one particular Friday night, it all fell apart, or more accurately, I fell apart. I collapsed in a heap on the floor, not even being able to make it up onto the bed. As total exhaustion overcame me, I started full body crying. Tears poured out in such fierceness that I didn’t think they’d ever stop. In amongst the sobs I shouted out “I’m done. I’m done. I give up. I can’t do this anymore.”

In a split second, my body stopped shaking, the tears ceased and I found myself in the most peace I had ever felt. Everything went quiet, I felt like I was in some kind of suspended reality. And then I heard the words “it’s YOUR business, you do with it what YOU want.”

What a simple and obvious statement, right? But in that moment, in the stillness of darkness and surrender, it was like someone turned the light on inside my mind.

In that moment of clarity, I made some decisions about my business and set to work changing it. As a result of this, our revenues doubled, I dropped to working three days per week and I could actually enjoy holidays and time with family.

So do we always need such a breakdown in order to have a breakthrough?

The simple answer is no.

Does that one breakthrough mean we hop, skip and jump our way into a perfect sun-kissed future?

Not exactly.

That particular ‘dark night of the soul’ happened over six years ago and whilst I made huge headway in changing, I didn’t realise the significance of staying connected to myself and to that inner voice I heard within the surrender that night. I also didn’t know about the fawn trauma response and how that was working against me in my desire for living life on my terms.

So whilst a lot did change for the better, after the initial change in energy dissipated, I ended up in a place of feeling dissatisfied, disconnected and beginning to resent those around me for me feeling like I had to keep the cogs turning in this place that was not fulfilling me.

My ability to be head strong, endure discomfort and push through is both a blessing and a curse. Maybe you can relate?

It makes us great for survival and testing situations, it makes us dependable and solid. All great skills for short bursts of time. But those traits can also keep us moving forward in a way that is never going to lead us to the freedom, fulfilment and aliveness that we truly desire.

Now here’s where it gets interesting…

The good news is that you don’t have to sell everything you own, wave goodbye to your family and spend six months in Tibet living as a monk in order to change. In fact, from the outside, it might not seem like much is changing at all when you begin your WholeHearted Journey. Because this journey goes inward first. We look at what your current blueprint is, address and heal any trauma/wounds that caused it so it can be released and a new thriving blueprint set in place.

We know that trauma rewires our system, think of it like a bug in our operating system (subconscious). No matter how many upgrades we make to our software (mindset) or hardware (physical appearance/external environment), it will keep showing up (repeated patterns we can’t seem to break) and keeping us trapped in a program we’re trying to outdo.

It doesn’t mean to do this, it’s trying to protect us, it’s trying to survive.

It’s why we have to go into the subconscious, debug our system and set it up with a new program, one which is programmed to thrive.

And that’s exactly what the WholeHearted Living technique is all about.

Not only do we change your operating program, but we ensure you have access to the resources which mean you can continue to upgrade and debug your system whenever it needs it.

You can click here to find out more about the steps involved in this process and how you can begin today, right from where you are.

For me, it was a journey that finally set me free from the exhaustion of repeated patterns and to a life of experiencing true freedom and fulfilment.

For me, experiencing moments of bliss, aliveness, passion, connectedness, love and gratitude, fills my heart and every cell in my body with an indescribable energy, and where I get to wake up in awe that this is the life I have created from a blueprint I chose.

So what about for you? What do you choose?

Let me know, I’d love to hear,

Debs x